Embers
by Nan0min
Summary: The sequel to Always. 10 Years have passed since their wedding and Peeta desperately wants to have children. Katniss is still struggling with the idea. Will she give in and give the man that gave up so much for her what he wants so badly? Can she refuse? If you haven't already read 'Always' :/s/8559599/1/Always
1. New Years

The people cheer and clap, Peeta looks over at me tenderly and leans down to give me a gentle kiss. "Happy New Year Katniss" he whispers in my ear. I put on a smile and gulp down the memories and guilt. Yes, another year is gone; Yet, part of me still remains in the past. I grab Peeta's hand and feel him gazing at me, he knows what I'm thinking and begins to lead me to our home.

Walking in the door I look around at the familiar place. We've lived here for more than 10 years together, its amazing how cluttered it has gotten. Unfortunately for us, Peeta and I both tend to be pack rats and hoard this and that. It isn't too bad, but we could use a good cleaning. I take my coat and boots off and put them away before walking to the bedroom.

I continue to take off the layers of clothes I had put on earlier in anticipation for the cold night I would be in. The bedroom is fairly clean, so I walk over to the corner to a little fireplace Peeta had added in a few years back. The room tended to stay cool all year long, it was great in the summer, but terribly cold in the winter. Blowing on the fading embers, I manage to get a little fire started. The room starts to warm up immediately but I still feel chilled, so I go into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Another added bonus to this house is that we got plumbing first thing. Not many people had any for the first several years of the town being rebuilt, now it was slowly becoming more common to see even in the poorest mans home.

Stepping into the hot shower I let the water drain off of my head and down my back. I feel the warmth flowing through me, and sit for several minutes just enjoying it. I want to drown this growing depression, I hate it. It has been so long since Prim left me, since the games, since everything bad, but it's days like today that makes the feelings feel fresh. I am so lucky to have Peeta, he seems to understand when I tell him about it.

After a while I decide its getting hot, so I quickly wash up and get out. Wrapping a towel around me, I get out and dry off. I look in the mirror I can see my still scarred skin. It is so much better than it used to be, but I can still pick out the faint outlines of my scars. I dress in some warm pajamas and walk out. Peeta is already sitting in bed reading a book. He looks up as I enter. He may not be trying to show it, but I can tell he is worried about me. There was a certain point for both of us when we stopped getting 'better' and we just 'were'. Peeta still has flashbacks, and I still have depression, and from what we have been told and can tell for ourselves, none of it is ever going to go away.

I sigh and get into bed. "I'm okay Peeta, just tired." I snuggle closer to him and lean my head against his shoulder. He sets his book on his nightstand and wraps his arms around me. "What are you thinking about?" He asks quietly. "Oh a little of everything. The games, people I miss, a new year." I reply. I feel him hug me closer. We both have grown so much in the past 10 years together, but the sting that the games left in our hearts hasn't faded much, especially for me. He kisses the top of my head. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks. "I'd rather not think about it anymore." I say truthfully.

After a few minutes Peeta gets up and restocks the fire before coming back to bed. I lay back and stare at the ceiling, and feel Peeta crawl in beside me. He turns out the light and lays down, so I snuggle close and drift off to the crackling fire and the steady sound of Peeta's steady breathing.

The next day dawns gloomy and grey. I wake up and take a look at the clock, it's already 9. I look to the other side of the bed and find it bare, Peeta must already be up in the bakery. I stand up and slip some clothes on before heading out the back door of our house that connects us to the bakery. The inside is warm and smells of freshly baked bread. I walk to the front of the store where Peeta is helping a customer. Grabbing a cheese bun from a tray, I plop on top of the counter and wait for him to finish. He puts the money away in the cash register and notices me on the counter behind him.

I see his eyes brighten as they always do as he walks over to me. "How are you this morning Mrs. Mellark?" He says. I still love to hear him say it to me, it's just a happy reminder for both of us. I smile and give him a tender kiss. "Good, thanks for letting me sleep in." I take another bite of the bread. It's the best of course, and still my favorite snack. "We stayed up late and you didn't seem to sleep well last night. Besides, I didn't need much help today." he says.

I think for a minute before remembering last night. After falling asleep I woke up several different times and couldn't fall back asleep. "Anything in particular you were upset about last night?" He asks with somewhat of a cautious tone. I don't quite follow. "No..?" I say slowly. He looks relieved. What does he think I was upset about? Then I remember, his new years resolutions.

I didn't even have to ask to know what Peeta's biggest resolution was: To have a baby. Over the years we've been married the conversation hasn't come up much, but I know that Peeta wants children so badly. Part of me wants them too, but I just can't. I told myself I would never be a mother, and I'm sticking to that plan.

I find Peeta still staring at me. I see the wanting in his eyes, he doesn't say it, but I can see his pleading. I sigh, this is no time for an argument, I don't want kids, we aren't having any, end of story. I jump off the counter and mumble something about me having to do something and head back into the house. I can't take another minute of guilt.

Back in the house I look around at the cluttered rooms. One of these days we will get in and clear some of this stuff out. On the kitchen table I notice the vase of primroses are wilting, so I decide to head out and get some new ones from our old home in the victors village. Up the road I see Haymitch sitting out on his front lawn, last night may have been New Years Eve, but Haymitch's drinking was the same as it ever is. He has stopped for the most part being constantly drunk, I guess he has just gotten used to the idea of the new government and the memories of the games fading.

He waves me over. "What's with the sad face?" Haymitch says. All I have to do is give him 'the look'. "Again Katniss? Why can't you just give the man what he wants?" I look at him angrily, "Its a bad idea, I'm not fit to be a mother, and it's still a dangerous world. The answer is, and will always be NO." I say.

Haymitch just sighs. "Katniss, if you only understood." He says. "Understood what!?" I spit out. "If you only understood that that man gave up absolutely everything he had for you, and all he wants in return is a kid or two, is that so much to ask?" Haymitch says almost shyly. He knows it isn't necessarily his place to tell me these things. I begin to cool down and feel the guilt settle in. "As for the rest of your excuses, you know just as much as I do that the chances of anything like the games or capitol happening again are slim, if not at all. The world is as safe as it's going to get, you can't make a more stupid excuse than that." he says.

I stare at him angrily. "As for the mother part, I happen to think you would be a good mother. For one thing you were practically a mother for Prim weren't you? he asks. "Yeah and look how well that turned out." I lash. "That has to do with my first answer. 1. It wasn't your fault, and 2. there is nothing like the games that you have to worry about!." He spits out. I back off. Haymitch seems to take notice and calms down too.

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that I know you would be a good mother, and we both know that Peeta would be the best father. Are you really going to deny him something he wants so bad? Can you?" He says quietly before getting up and going back into his house. I sit there for a moment and think. As much as I hate to admit it, Haymitch had some very good points, and it hurts me so bad that I can't give Peeta what he wants. I am just scared. So, so, scared. I gulp down my feelings and go about my work getting the flowers before I head back home.

**Authors Note:**

**I hope you guys enjoy! As for the winner of the contest, I unfortunately didn't find anything that seemed to fit. I decided to name this story Embers because its about Katniss' flame fading and becoming something still hot, but lasting. If that makes sense. Basically, embers are what come after the fire, and children come after the fire of the games. Hope you know what I mean ;)**

**As for the story itself, REVIEW! I really NEED some input here, as this story is much harder to write than the last. Thanks so much for your support! Until next chapter ~Nan0min**


	2. Spring Cleaning

Flowers are blooming in the little garden Peeta made in our front yard. Spring has finally melted all the snow away and the baby animals are out and about. I watch a squirrel hop around in the garden. I can't help think about when I would have to kill a small little animal like that just to get some food. Now I have so much food I don't even know what to do with it.

Thunder and lightning suddenly spur out of nowhere and large raindrops begin falling from the sky. The squirrel runs up a nearby tree and the few people rush into their homes. I sigh and turn away from the window. The house is still cluttered, though I vowed months ago to clean it up. "_Might as well do it today" _I think to myself and start grabbing things.

A lot of the stuff I find have memories attached to them. I take the most special things and place them in a box for the attic. Once I finish the doorway and the living room I gather everything up in a box and take them to the attic.

The attic is dark and musty smelling. I manage to find the switch to a light and turn it on. There isn't much up here, just a few boxes here and there. Some holiday decorations and old clothes. I return downstairs and find that its getting late. Peeta is still in the bakery, so I decide to join him in cleaning up.

"Oh I cleaned up a couple rooms today." I say just before we come to our living room. I watch him look around. "It looks great Katniss, now we actually have room. What did you do with everything?" I explain packing things away. He seems happy. "Are you going to do the spare room?" he asks. "Oh probably, not that we need an extra room or anything, but it would be nice to get a little organised." He nods his head.

We go into the kitchen and make dinner together. Spaghetti and garlic bread. There is _always _bread with dinner. We talk about each others day and about news from the Center. The Center is what the Capitol was renamed after Paylor took presidency. She was a good president, but decided to pass things along after 4 years. The next few presidents have done a good job, but I still think she was the best.

After dinner we sit and watch television for a while. Not something we do very often, but I like to see whats going on in the other districts. Its amazing how things have changed in the past 10 years. Everyone is so much happier than they were, with electricity, plumbing and plenty of food for everyone. We're just about as civilized as the Capitol was, but less crazy.

I begin to fall asleep leaning up against Peeta. After a while I hear the TV go off and feel as he lifts me up and carries me to bed.

X

The next day is the same as before. I get up and start the fires to heat up the house, then start some breakfast while Peeta gets bread going in the bakery. After we eat, he heads back out to work. I decide its time to do a little dusting to finish off the front room. The dust isn't too bad, until I get to the mantle. Soot is all over everything near the fireplace. I brush the decorative pieces on both sides of the mantle, then finally make my way to the dandelion platter. It has sat in the same place for as long as we've lived here. I smile at the memories it brings up.

Finally placing it back on the mantle it looks a brilliant white and yellow again, instead of the gross grey color that had settled there. I hear Peeta come in the back door. "Hey, just came in to see how things were going." He says as he leans against a wall. "I decided it was time to stop breathing in the dust in here. We really need to get the chimney cleaned!" He laughs and walks over to me. "Yeah you got something right there." He says pointing to my cheek.

I look in the mirror hung on one of our walls. A large black smudge sits there. I rub to get it off but it only smears more. Peeta is laughing as he watches me struggle. "Oh sure sit there and laugh." I say as a jog down the hallway to the bathroom. I turn the lever for the warm water and wash away the mark with some soap.

Walking back to the other room I see that Peeta has gone back to the bakery. I decide to continue my spring cleaning in the spare room.

Opening the door to the darkened room I see the dust in the air. The same musky smell of the attic seems to be in the air. Closing my eyes I flip the switch. '_please don't be that bad, please don't be that bad!" _I think. I open my eyes and am greeted by the wonderful sight of a not so dirty room. Boxes are piled here and there. I sit down and start opening one after another.

It isn't so bad for the first boxes, mostly just old stuff that needed to be thrown away or put in the attic a long time ago. The room starts to clear quickly after several trips to the garbage and attic. I grab an especially old looking box and open it up. Just as I see what is inside I feel tears spring in my eyes. The box is full of Prims things.

I begin to pick out a few things at a time. Old clothes are on the top. I reach for one any bring it to my face. They still smell like her. I pick up thing after thing smiling and tearing up at each memory. I came to terms with her death long ago, but I still regret what happened and miss her so much. I can imagine what she would be like today. Probably a brilliant healer, married, maybe even having children of her own.

I turn around and find Peeta leaning against the door watching me. When he see's I've noticed him he comes and sits with me, and wraps his arms around me. We sit there like that for a while until I finally decide to put the past away.

I stand up wordlessly and put everything back in boxes. Peeta watches as I grab them, one by one, and take them up silently to the attic. Once I return I see he has finished the finishing touches on the room, it now sits there, empty. I see him look around at it, then look at me. "Well, now we have a spare room, what do you want to put in here?" I ask innocently, but not one second passes do I regret it. I know exactly what he wants in this room.

The conversation seems to be brought up everyday, even when no one says anything. I know. There have even been a few times when I tried to convince myself I wanted children. I really have tried, for Peeta's sake but I just can't.

I rub my face with my hands and sigh. I can't stand to look at that face, it hurts so bad to see him like this. I just want to cry. Then I feel his arms around me. He whispers in my ear "I will never make you do anything you don't want to do."

I know he means it, but what he doesn't understand is that I'm not worried about him forcing me, I'm worried about he will be. "I'm so sorry Peeta." I begin to sob. He relents and catches my face in his hands, "No, don't be sorry. You gave me everything I ever wanted just by marrying me."

With that he gives me a kiss and hugs me close. I know he is being strong, but I also know he isn't telling me the whole truth, he wants kids.

What am I going to do!?

**A/N**

**Thanks for your reviews, keep them coming! I'm really interested on your guy's take on this chapter (on every chapter really!)  
I'm trying to slowly build towards Katniss' decision to have kids. We all know it wasn't a snap one.**

**Favorite if you enjoy and follow this story to be able to read the chapters right when I post them! Thanks everyone! Until next chapter -Nan0min**


	3. Hope

He doesn't think I notice, but I see the way he looks at the children that come in. I notice him watching them as they play in the streets. I don't understand why he wants any, but he does. He told me he would never force me, but he doesn't understand how much it hurts me to see him like this.

I'm not the only one, friends around town have seen it too. I have also gotten a good deal of talking from Haymitch who seems to think I'm insane. Maybe I am.

I've coped with life, tried to find meaning, tried to figure out what even happened those last few months I was in the capitol, but I don't think I've ever gotten past what happened. It's so much easier to push it to the back of my mind and forget about it. But this whole 'children' thing is forcing me to rethink everything.

Haymitch assures me that nothing like the games will happen again, tells me that I'm safe. Why is it that I can't believe him? We have lived in peace for more than 10 years, isn't that long enough to tell me that everything's okay? Or is it that we've had good for so long something bad has to happen sooner or later.

I'm constantly trying to question myself, why can't I have kids? What is holding me back?

X

"What is holding me back?" I hear myself question. Peeta stops eating and looks at me. I snap out of it and continue eating. "You okay?" He asks quietly, still watching me. I try to pretend I never said anything, but I know it's too late. I sigh and push my plate away. "What is wrong with me Peeta." I say. Not really wanting a response.

"Nothing Katniss." He says. But I know that's not the truth. "Why can't I just do it? Why am I still saying no?" I say and place my head in my hands."You know I _want _to give you children. So why can't I? What is making me say no? Haymitch has given me every answer to all of my excuses and _more."_

Peeta shifts uneasily in his chair. Not exactly sure how to answer my questions. I close my eyes and try to gulp down the tears I feel are coming soon. I just sit there like that, as my food gets colder and Peeta is probably trying to figure out what to do with me.

"You're scared." He says. Normally I might be angry at an accusation like that, but he's right. I peek at him through my fingers and noticed he's sitting beside me with his hand on my knee. I look into his piercing blue eyes that reflect what I feel. Fear.

"So am I." He leans closer and grabs my hands. "But we can't let fear run our lives Katniss. If we did, we wouldn't be able to do anything. You overcame fear and volunteered for the games, you survived them, _and _defeated the capitol. Not only that, you overcame your fear of me, and helped me get better. You're the bravest person I know, but you can't let the fear of something happening to our children keep you from having them."

I know he's right, but I still don't know how to do this. "What about our parents Katniss?" He asks. I look at him confused. "Our parents? What do they have to do with anything?" I see him give a little smile. "How did our parents ever have us? They had so much more to be afraid of. And though we may have not have been planned, they still decided to keep us. Your mothers a healer, I'm sure that she could of done something if she didn't want to keep you or Prim. And yet they had both of you, even with the risk of the games, starvation, you name it."

He gently caresses my cheek. "I know you're scared, but I know you can do this if you really want to." He leans in a gives me a kiss. "You can do anything mockingjay." He smiles and waits for my response.

I know he's right, I have nothing to be afraid of, but I can't make this decision now. "Let me think about it for a while, please?" I ask. He nods, and I see something in those blue eyes that I didn't see before. Hope.

**A/N:**

**Thank you all for the positive feedback! It's been a very difficult story to write, especially lately on top of all the homework I have had. I will try to update more if at all possible, and am currently writing the next chapter because I have some spare time and motivation at the moment. I'll upload it in a day or two so that it isn't too long between chapters.**

Of course I would love your feedback on this chapter as well as the story so far. If any of you have suggestions for content your welcome to share, and I'm actually curious, if you were to name Katniss and Peeta's children, what would you name them? Leave your comment in a review or PM me!

**Until next chapter! ~Nan0min**


	4. Try

Only a few days later do I come to a conclusion. "Peeta?" I call into the bakery from our back door. He comes rushing just after the word leaves my mouth. He is covered in flour and out of breath, I smile at the familiar appearance and take his hand, leading him to the living room. We sit down and I notice him looking at me anxiously.

I avoid eye contact with him before spitting it out. "We can try." I barely whisper. But it was enough, Peeta jumps up and grabs me, lifting me into the air and spinning me around. It seems so cliche, but I know he is just happy. He sets me down and braces my arms looking me straight in the eye. "Are you sure?" He asks, just the same way he did when I said I'd marry him.

This I laugh to. "Sure? I'm not sure about anything, but i'm going to try." I say. He comes close for a kiss. "I love you!" he whispers in my ear when we break apart. I smile and be brave. Peeta is right, I can't let fear run my life. I'm still scared, but I want to do this, for Peeta, for Prim, who always said I would be a good mom, and even for me.

x

Peeta is already up as usual when I wake. I get up leisurely and stretch out before changing. Padding down the hallway to the kitchen I see the warm sun peeking in the windows. I take in a deep breath to enjoy the smell of the bread coming from the back, but find myself holding my insides in. I rush to the bathroom and puke everything out.

When I'm finished I feel a bit better. I put a hand to my forehead and feel for a fever, so such luck. I decide to wait a few days to see if it goes away, if not.. well, I don't want to think about that. It's probably best not to get Peeta's hopes up, so I'll just keep it secret.

x

But the sickness doesn't go away, and a week later I'm still having the same problem, but now I'm late. Maybe now is a good time to go tell Peeta, or should I wait and find out for sure? I grab my shoes and head out the door this summer afternoon. I'm nervous, my hands are trembling as I walk to the office a few blocks away. Inside, I am admitted almost right away.

The doctor there is one that had transferred to district 12 a few years ago. She seems relatively normal and keeps to herself. We don't have any fancy facilities like the capitol does, but we make due with what we have.

She asks me to sit with her and tell her what's wrong. "Well, I think I may be pregnant." I say, surprised to say it out loud. She smiles and asks me about symptoms. I tell her about the morning sickness and that I'm now over a week late. "It seems to me that you are pregnant Mrs. Mellark, but just to be sure I'll use this device to check. If you would just stick your tongue out.." She says. I obey and she sticks something like a thermometer in my mouth, after a few seconds she takes it out and looks on the side. "Well I'm happy to announce that you _are _pregnant!" she says. I release the tension that I hadn't noticed had built up. I sit there in shock for a second just taking the news in. '_I'm pregnant? I'm pregnant! I'm going to be a mom! Peeta is going to be a dad!' _ Peeta! I have to go and tell Peeta! I stand up about to rush out of the room. "Oh wait, don't you want to know your other information? I gulp, what other information? I sit back down and motion for her to continue. "Your baby is doing very well, your about one month along and should be due next spring!" She says cheerily. I feel sick.

After I'm finished I walk straight to the bakery where Peeta is in the back frosting some cakes. I watch him for a minute, nervous to tell the news. He doesn't notice me, and I watch a lock of hair fall onto his forehead. He has his concentration face on, set eyes and a firm jaw, making every last detail perfect. I smile. He still makes my heart flutter, I love him more now than ever. Just wait until he finds out!

Finally I speak up. "Peeta?" I say shakily. He looks up at me and frowns. "Katniss, are you okay?" I sit there and try to breath, he comes over and looks at me worriedly "Katniss? What's wrong, what happened?" I grab his arm, "No everything is fine," I see the relief run across his face.  
I decide to get to it, "Peeta, I'm pregnant." I say and watch his reaction. I see a single tear stream down his face. "Peeta? Aren't you happy?" I question. "Happy? Of course I'm happy! You, we, us," He stumbles giddily. "We're going to have a baby." I finish for him. He smiles at me and gives me a kiss.

After things seem to settle a bit he asks me. "How did you find out?" I smile sheepishly, "Well I've been having morning sickness for the past week and have been late too. I decided to check with the doctor today before saying anything." He looks at me in disbelief. "You've been having morning sickness all this time Katniss? Why didn't you tell me, I wouldn't of left so early.

"I wanted to be sure I just wasn't just sick with the flu or something, and I didn't want to get your hopes up." I say quietly looking at the floor. Peeta comes and gives me a kiss on the head. "Well I'm staying with you in the mornings from now on." He says. I laugh, "It isn't a pretty sight, believe me. The doctor says it should go away in a few months." Peeta turns and looks at me. "When is it due? Is it okay, are you okay? I've been so excited to find out I didn't even think of anything else."

I smile "She said I'm about a month along and should be due next spring. The baby is fine and I am fine, but I'm going to have to go to some checkups a lot I guess." I say, and watch the excitement on his face grow.

"We're doing it Katniss, we're going to be parents!" he says and sighs contentedly. "You're going to be a great father, you know that? You're so good with all the children that come in the bakery." I say. He smiles at me "You're going to be a great mother Katniss, I always thought you were amazing with Prim, and you're going to be amazing with our baby." he says.

We sit there a while longer talking about what the future will hold, but it's only after Peeta goes back to work and I'm left with my own thoughts does it really hit me. My name is Katniss Mellark, and I am going to be a mother.

**A/N: FINALLY Katniss decides! Now we can get to the really interesting chapters ;D**

I hope you all enjoyed, of course I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter, how did you think it would go? Anything like this? I'm anticipating a new chapter soon, but if I have too much homework it will have to hold off for a few extra days. Thanks for reading!

If you enjoy this fanfic:  
SHARE: this story **_and_****Always, so we can get more people to read what I'd like to think the ****_real _****story is! Post links to forums, HG facebook pages, really anywhere! **

**Also:**  
**PLEASE REVIEWWWWW! I know, I'm begging. It's sad and irritating for both of us, but you won't have to hear it anymore If I get reviews in! The more reviews and followers, the better chance that more people will be able to read this story! Alright, I'm done begging ;D**

Until next chapter! ~Nan0min


	5. Aches

For the next few months I don't even feel like I'm pregnant, besides the morning sickness and the fact that Peeta wont let me out of his sight to do anything. If the whole pregnancy goes like this, it's going to be so much easier than I thought.

x

"Katniss?" Peeta calls from the other room. "I'm fine Peeta! Go get me some cheese buns!" I yell back from my bed. The late summer breeze blows through the open window and brings fresh air into the room. I adjust myself and close my eyes, trying to make this headache go away. It looks like another symptom that came about in the last few days, it comes with the morning sickness and doesn't leave until the late afternoon.

I hear Peeta come in the room. He sits down beside me on the bed. "Still hurts?" He asks. I nod my head silently but immediately regret it when my head begins to pound more. "Here why don't you try eating this and I'll go see if I can get some medicine from the doctor." He says before getting up and leaving. I don't respond, I just want it to stop hurting.

I listen as the front door closes and know Peeta is gone. I continue to lay in the bed, listening to the sound of the birds outside. Soon I begin to get drowsy and fall asleep. I wake to a nudge on my shoulder, a cat has decided to lay down with me. I peek one eye open and recognise it as Rosy.

We found Rosy wandering outside a few years ago, surprisingly only a few days after Buttercup had died. I was so upset at first, Peeta decided to keep her, but I didn't want to replace Buttercup and resented her for a long time. She never gave up trying to win my affection though, and finally got it when I decided to stop holding a grudge.

I reach my hand up and pet her for a while before drifting back off to sleep. When I wake, the sun is just beginning to set. I sit up and realise my headache is gone. I get up and go to grab my slippers, taking a peek in the mirror as I walk past. Then I do a double take, lifting up my shirt I can see that my stomach is getting quite big, well, at least for me. I haven't really noticed it much until now. I place my hands on my tiny tummy. It's still so hard for me to think about being pregnant or a mom.

I put my shirt back down and put my slippers on, noticing the cheese bun that still sits on my bed. I grab it and begin eating while I walk out of the room. Looking around the house I don't see Peeta, so I decide to head into the bakery.

Inside I find Peeta cleaning the counters up. I walk over to him and lift my shirt up. "Have you noticed this?!" I ask playfully. He laughs, 'Yeah, I just thought I'd let you make the discovery before I said anything." I look down at my small tummy, it's hard for me to think of a little baby in there, it's exciting and scary at the same time.

Peeta kisses my forehead. "Have a good nap?" he asks. "Yeah, it's been a little hard to sleep at night, minus the nightmares." I say. Peeta frowns. He knows all too well about my nightmares, and ever since I found out I was pregnant they have revolved around losing the baby. He knows how hard it was for me to consent to having children, and its so much harder actually having one.

"Hey didn't the doctor say we should come in for a visit soon?" He asks on a lighter note. "Yeah, she said we could find out if it's a boy or a girl." I say. Peeta shifts a little bit. "Do you want to find out or wait?" He asks. I think for a moment. "I don't know, on one hand it would be nice to know, and on the other I kind of want it to be a surprise." I say. Peeta laughs at this. "You don't like to make it easy, do you?" I laugh too. "You know I've never been good at making decisions." I say before I lean in and give him a kiss.

**A/N: Short chapter I know! But I am glad I'm able to get some material out! Review and all that jazz if you wanna, I think you know the drill ;D Until next chapter! ~Nan0min**


	6. Changes

I've made up my mind. "Let's wait Peeta, I want it to be a surprise." I say. Peeta looks over at me and smiles. "I had a feeling that's what you'd say." We continue walking through town. The leaves have changed colors and begun to fall, and the people are enjoying the last few weeks before snow sets in.

Peeta holds the door open for me as we walk into the modest office. I walk in and sit down in a chair while Peeta signs me in and lets the doctor know we're here. I lean back and let out a deep breath, placing my hands on my ever growing stomach. Suddenly I feel a bump. I gasp a little at the strange feeling. "Peeta come here!" I call. I'm not quite sure what happened. Is the baby okay?

Peeta comes running over looking as fearful as I feel. "What's wrong Katniss?" He asks kneeling in front of me. "The baby, I don't know, I felt a bump, I don't know what's going on." I stutter. I see the doctor come in from the other room. "Everything okay?" she asks. I explain what happened and see her stifle a laugh. "It's okay Katniss, it looks like your baby is just trying to get your attention. Just a little kick. You should be feeling more and more as you progress."

Now I'm embarrassed. How was I supposed to know? The doctor looks at me sympathetically. "Don't worry about it, you didn't know what it was and I can understand it can be quite scary." she says before motioning me to the back door. "Ready for the appointment?"

I nod and stand up with Peeta's help. In the back I lay back in a chair. "Now, did you decide if you wanted to know the sex or not?" she asks. I look over at Peeta and he nods at me. "We've decided to wait." I say. "Alright, well then we'll just do the normal checkup."

She continues to ask me different questions and uses a few different devices to check this and that. "You're all set Mrs. Mellark. Your baby is healthy and growing fast. Right now your about 5 months along. I would say he or she will be born mid March. Any symptoms you had in your first trimester should be long gone. I expect you will feel more from the baby, as well as gain some new cravings. If you ever start to feel something unusual just come and let me know." she says and smiles at me.

Good enough for me, I just want to go home and take a nap. Peeta helps me up again and we walk home. Inside is warm and cozy, even more inviting. I head straight for the bedroom. Taking my shirt off to change, I try to slip another one on but it doesn't seem to fit around my stomach. '_Great' _ I think. Probably time to start wearing those maternity clothes I bought awhile back.

Instead I slip on one of Peeta's shirts. I'm surprised at how comfortable it is. I slip into bed and fall asleep. I don't get much rest because I keep having nightmares about losing the baby. Being taken by Snow, or being forced into a new Hunger Games. I awake to Peeta cradling me in his arms and whispering into my ear. I cry for a good while until he is finally able to calm me down.

"I don't know if I can do this Peeta, every night I'm reminded of why I didn't want to have children in the first place." I say as a few remaining tears stray off my face. "Katniss." He says to me as he brushes the hair out of my eyes. "Everything is going to be fine. I know you're scared, heck _I'm _scared. But remember what we said, we" "Can't let fear run our lives." I finish for him. He's right I know, but it's so hard for me when I see these dreams almost every night. I lean into him and close my eyes. "What time is it?" I ask. "I was just coming in to bed when I found you, but that was over an hour ago." He says. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "Don't be, it isn't your fault." He replies, gently stroking my hair.

* * *

It isn't much longer before I begin to feel some of the symptoms the doctor warned me about, and everyday it became harder and harder to fit into clothes, see my feet, or even sleep comfortably. Winter comes to District 12 and Peeta is rarely in the bakery.

"Alright, I think it's about time we started on the baby's room." I say to Peeta one afternoon in late December. "If we wait too much longer I'm not going to be able to do anything." I look down to my now huge stomach. Peeta laughs. "Probably a good idea, I just keep putting more and more boxes into the back room." We got everything ordered from the capitol with the help of Effie. She insisted on helping and I let her, I hardly know anything about what a baby needs.

The boxes are piled up here and there in the bedroom. "Well we should probably start with the crib." I say before sitting down in the chair Peeta brought in for me. I watch as he sets it up. It's a nice dark wood. I wanted it to be simple, and this one reminds me of the one Prim had when she was little. Effie was also able to get everything else to match, including the dresser and changing tables.

By the end of the afternoon all of the major furniture had been set up and in place. I decide to begin opening some of the boxes labeled as "accessories" , though I'm not sure what could be in them. Inside the first I find a note on top.

"Katniss and Peeta,  
These are just some extra gifts for the baby from Auntie Effie. I want to be sure that she has the best possible! Did I mention I think it's a girl? Of course it will be a girl! Enjoy and think nothing of it!  
Love,  
Effie"

I hand the letter to Peeta and he smirks at me. "Auntie Effie?" He questions with a comical look. I glare back. "Don't ask me, it was her idea. I wasn't in the mood to argue." I say. I look down into the box and begin to pull things out. Inside are soft sheets, blankets, and pillows for the crib, as well as an equally soft brown teddy bear. Apparently they are an 'essential' for babies, at least Effie seemed to think so.

Surprisingly, nothing was an outrage color. Everything was earthy tones, just like what I had asked for with the other things in the room. I was happily surprised. The second box held rugs, clothes, and little knick knacks to hang on the wall and around the room. I smile at them, little pictures of flowers and outdoorsie things. I can't believe how well Effie did, maybe after all these years she finally understands my taste, or lack of.

* * *

Over the next week the room slowly comes together. Peeta paints the walls an earthy brown before adding a mural of a meadow on a wall. He spent so much time on it, making sure everything was perfect. The last thing he added was primrose in the corner. I love it so much, it's just as if Prim were here.

With more of Effie's help I was able to get some baby clothes and supplies that I liked. I think she was happy to help, she doesn't have much to do these days.

Christmas was spent at our home as it usually. Haymitch came over as he usually did and we had a big meal together. The evening was spent lounging around the fire talking of the past, present, and future. Haymitch was happy to find out I was pregnant, but I wanted to make it more special. "Haymitch, me and Peeta have something to ask you." I say. He looks over, drink in hand with a raised eyebrow. "You want me to be the Godfather" He says.

I should have known that I couldn't fool Haymitch. "Yeah, but I want you to be called 'Uncle Haymitch. Grandpa Haymitch sounds weird." I say, not missing a beat. "Sounds good to me." He says, but I can see the joy on his face, even though he tries to hide it. Peeta looks a little confused at the whole thing, so I just give a little laugh.

* * *

New Year's comes soon. Peeta and I gather in the square with the rest of the town at 11:30. I'm sleepy, and bundled up tight, but I make it out. Peeta manages to find me a place to sit. It's getting harder and harder to stand for long periods of time the bigger I get, not to mention the swelling in my ankles and feet.

"Well Peeta, last years resolution is going to come a little late." I say sarcastically. He gives me a kiss. "I'd rather have it late than not at all." He smiles back. He says it jokingly, but I know how serious he actually is.

Soon it's 11:59 and we're counting down. Again the people cheer to welcome in the new year. I'm determined to do the same. This year is going to be different, It's scary and exciting at the same time. Again I reflect on the past years. Who would have thought just last year I was struggling with the idea of having a baby, and now I'm only a few months away from holding it in my arms.

Peeta leans down and gives me a kiss. "Happy New Year Katniss." He whispers and gently places a hand on my belly. I smile, "Happy New Year Peeta." I say and give him a kiss back.

* * *

**A/N: I hope I made up for the lack of content lately! And I also hope you enjoyed this chapter! Again, I'm interested to know what you would name Katniss and Peeta's children! Please leave a review, I wanna know what you think! Thanks guys! Until Next Chapter! ~Nan0min**


	7. Names

Each new day is so different. I've started to get big enough that everywhere I go I get stopped by people commenting on how I look. I know they are being nice, but it gets irritating quickly. I also notice I'm pretty moody. Well, more than usual. Sometimes I just don't understand how Peeta puts up with me. He is still overjoyed and excited, ready to do anything for me in a moments notice. I think he realizes that while this is just amazing for him, its still difficult adjusting to the changes for me.

"Two more months huh? Where has the time gone." Haymitch says as he leans back in his chair. "Two more months and I'm free." I say seriously. Haymitch gives me a funny look. "Oh it can't be that bad..." He stops when he notices the look I'm giving him. He doesn't even realize that my body is no longer my own, I'm always hungry, or hot, or my back is hurting. Really it could be a number of things all at once. I'm definitely ready for this to be over.

I close my eyes and put my feet up. "So have you guys thought of any names yet?" Haymitch asks. "Names? No, not yet." I reply peeking an eye open and looking around the quiet bakery to see if Peeta is around. "Really? I would have thought you'd have one or two picked out by now." He says. I think for a moment. "Nope, I don't have a clue what I want. Peeta and I surprisingly haven't talked about it." I say.

"Talked about what?" A voice asks as the sound of footsteps follows. I open my eyes to find Peeta walking towards us. "Baby names, the girl tells me you haven't even figured that out by now." Haymitch says. Peeta rubs the back of his head. "Well we've been a little busy getting the room together and all that. I guess I just haven't thought about it at all.

"I place my hand on my pounding head. That's one of the more annoying symptoms I've been having lately. "Well I think I'm finished for today, I'll close up so we can go relax for a while." Peeta says before flipping the sign in the window to 'closed'. "I guess I'll be out too, I'm running pretty low on the booze." Haymitch says.

I say goodbye before I push myself out of the chair to make my way to the house. Sleep tugs at my eyelids so I lay on the couch to take a short nap before Peeta gets here. I sleep quietly for a while before I hear Peeta come inside and figure it's probably time to get up. I peek open my eyes and find him tending to the fire. "He's right, we probably should start thinking of names." I say.

Peeta doesn't say anything until he's finished with the fire, then he gets up and sits on the end of the couch. "Well I kind of figured that it was obvious." He says. Obvious? "What do you mean? I have no idea for any names." I say. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Well I just assumed you'd name it after your sister if it was a girl or after your dad if it was a boy." He says a little uneasily.

I think about it for a bit. If I had a girl and named her Prim.. I don't think I could do that. "Peeta I don't think it would be a good idea to name he or she after anyone. There was only one Prim, or one Rue, I don't think I could stand to have the memory of someone I lost attached to the thought of my child." I finally say. Meeting his eyes I can see a trace of relief. "I thought that too, but I wasn't sure how you would feel about it." He says. I'm glad he agrees. It just doesn't make sense to name him or her after someone else, nothing can take their place. No, this baby will have a name to itself.

"Now the only problem is to think of names." I say. Peeta nods and I begin to go through a list of names in my head. "Well what do you think of keeping the tradition of flower names for girls?" He asks after a while. "Rose, Violet, Daisy..." I trail off. "Is it just me or are none of these working?" I say. Peeta gives me a knowing glance. Something about those names just sound so.. Capitol for my taste. "Well we don't necessarily have to do flower, I'm named after a root more or less. We can just try something plant like or something along those lines." I say and see Peeta's brow furrow in concentration. Who knew this would be so much work.

* * *

"Ivy, Jasmine, Holly.." His voice intertwines with mine as we spit out names left and right. We've been at it for more than an hour but haven't found anything. "It isn't that I don't like any of the names suggested, it's that nothing has seemed to 'click'. " I say in retort to Peeta's comment about my indecisiveness. He smiles to indicate he's just teasing me. "You always were bad at decision making" He says. I give him an angry look but he knows I'm not serious.

"Okay." He says with a deep sigh. "Clover, Weed, Flower, Tree.." He says and gives me a sideways glance. "Yes I'm listening!" I tease. "And no, none of those are going to work." I say. I'm getting exhausted for the night. "Well why not Pine, Birch, Willow.." Peeta continues, but I can't get that out of my head. _Willow. _I like that, not too Capitol-esque but not too weird. "Peeta, what about Willow?" I stops and looks over at me. "You liked that one?" He says as though he just can't tell if I'm joking or not.

"No I actually like it. It reminds me of something, peaceful. I don't know. Do you even like it?" He seems to think for a moment. "Would it be for a boy or girl?" he asks. _Girl definitely. _"Girl." I say. A look of realization seems to come over his face. "Are you sure Katniss? Doesn't that have any bad memories attached to it?" He questions. I run through my list of people. "No I don't recognize it at all, why what are you thinking about?" I ask. He shifts uncomfortably. "Well it's just, in that song you sang, to Rue." he says. _Oh, the lullaby._

_Deep in the meadow,_

_Under a willow,_

_A bed of grass,_

_A soft, green, pillow._

_Lay down your head,_

_And close your eyes;_

_And when you awaken the sun will rise._

Yes I remember. The song my father would sing to me, that I sang this to Prim when she was little, then again sang to Rue when she died. But somehow for me, it doesn't hold a bad memory. It reminds me of peace. Of three special people I loved so much. It's perfect. "I love it Peeta, what do you think?" I ask. "I like it." He says. "I was just worried it would upset you." I smile at his thoughtfulness and think back to the days of me and Gale and an old willow tree that was in the forest.

Suddenly I'm struck with an idea. "Peeta tomorrow I want to go see the old willow tree in the woods." I say. He looks at me funny. "Are you sure you can make it that far. Your 7 months pregnant!" he replies. As much as I hate to admit it he has a point, but I am determined to see the tree. "I can do it Peeta, besides it should be flowering by now." I say. "I'll be fine." I comfort when I see the worried look on his face. "If I get too tired we can come home, okay?" He rolls his eyes and relents. "How did I ever think I could say no." He says with a lopsided smile.

"Well we have a girls first name picked out then, what about a middle name?" Peeta says as he gets up to put more wood on the fire. I reposition myself on the couch and begin to think again. "Well, actually that one is pretty easy. I want to have a part of Prim in her name, but I don't want it to be very obvious, so what about Willow Rose Mellark?" I ask. Peeta turns around and leans on the mantlepiece. "Willow Rose Mellark huh?" He says as he mulls it over. "Actually, I really like it." He says with a smile. "Willow Rose, Willow Rose," He repeats again and again trying to get the feel of it.

"That's her name, don't wear it out!" I say. "Oh you're so sure its a girl now? Well what if its a boy? He teases before coming back to the couch. "Well lets see, we did my family tradition with flowers and plants, what's your family tradition?" I ask even though I already know the answer. "Bread. Not much of a surprise there huh?" He says with a twinkle in his eye. "Well theres, Bagel, Baguette, Dosa, Naan, White, Wheat, Rye, take your pick!" He says sarcastically, but then seems to be considering them.

"Peeta you're not actually considering any of those names are you?" I say with a laugh, all of those names seemed weird. "What about Rye?" He asks. "Could be worse." I say teasing him, but I can tell by the look on his face that he's serious. "Why Rye?" I ask. Peeta throws another log in the fire and comes to sit next to me. "I remember reading somewhere about a man in my family being named Rye. My Grandfather, Great- Grandfather, I'm not sure who, but I like the name. Do you?" He looks at me questioningly. Despite my earlier teasing, I do like the name. Not too Capitol-ish, not too plain either. A nice, strong, name, and Peeta seems to like the fact that it ties in with his family too. "Alright, but see if you can find a middle name that will fit well." I challenge. That will be the hard part considering I've been thinking of one since Peeta first brought up the name and I still haven't thought of anything. Then I have it. "Peeta why don't we use your fathers name?" I ask. I'm not sure how well he will take the question. He and I both understand not wanting to use a loved one's name but this might be the exception. I see a smile dawn on his face. "It's perfect." He says. "Rye Aven Mellark."

I didn't hear Mr. Mellark's name but once while growing up, but that was when my Father was referring to him when he was talking to my mother. Even after I was an adult I only heard it a few times. Peeta's father isn't a subject we like to bring up often, it's like me having to talk about Prim. It might have been years ago, but we still miss them so much. "Alright so, Willow Rose Mellark for a girl and Rye Aven Mellark if its a boy?" I ask. Peeta takes me hand and brings it to his mouth planting a gentle kiss on the top. "Sounds perfect to me." He says. I nod my head in agreement. I'm glad we were able to pick out the names in an evening, and I'm so happy with how they turned out. Tomorrow though, I am going back to see my willow.

* * *

**So sorry I haven't uploaded in almost a month, its been hard for me time wise, but also to try and figure out what I want to do with the story and all that fun stuff! If you enjoy this story please follow and favorite to keep up to date, if you would be so kind as to review I would love that as well. Again, I have a hard time writing this story and I love to hear your feedback to let me know what you think. **

**So a question for this chapter: ****_What did you think of the names_****? I love them (but of course I picked them!), I have to admit though, I was a little worried about choosing Willow because I keep thinking of Willow Smith (If you don't know who she is Google her). So let me know what you think, I hope you liked. I will try to upload more, I'm a bad author! ;) Until Next Chapter! ~Nan0min**


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